Life and Death

20 years ago was a great day, sunny & warm, with the start of the crisp fall air beginning to descend upon us. The leaves were turning magnificent colors of crimson and gold. I remember the day, playing outside as I babysat my younger cousin who was 2 1/2 at the time. The two of us were running in the yard, building forts from the leaves that fell from above. We were laughing, having a great time knowing our lives would be forever changed that day. A new addition to the family was arriving, as my aunt was in labor with our newest family addition, James.

Just shy of 20 years to James' birthday, our lives would be once again touched, this time with the loss of James. A week and a half after he was taken from us, it still feels surreal. There are no words to describe the emotions, feelings, remembrances, and thoughts you feel when someone close to you is taken by an act of violence. The grieving process is different - there was no illness to say "He's in a better place now", there isn't a long life to celebrate, there is no sense to what happened. There is only emptiness, loneliness, and confusion in his absence. There is also anger; immense anger that two teenagers aged 16 and 18 could take another person's life so quickly and without thought. Unfortunately, the anger quickly turns to despair and bitterness and you begin to question what this world is coming to. How do two teenagers take some one's life becomes the question of the day - the debate begins about how much are their parents responsible versus society versus the teenagers themselves. There are no single, binary answers.

On James' 20th birthday, a week and a half after he was murdered, no one in our family is the same. We're going through our lives like robots, still in shock over what happened. It's hard to continue on with day to day activities like nothing happened. Something did happen. We are all learning how to push through the pain and be happy like he would have wanted. We all learned a little more about ourselves. Our thoughts and ideals changed. Whether you think you are pro-death penalty or against it, who should be held accountable in cases like this, and what your idea of justice is -- trust me, it may change once you go through something like this. This is what surprised me the most. What I thought I knew about myself prior to this has changed since these events. And I may have a different view than my family and friends, but I respect and understand how they feel and think. Each person is different and needs to process our grief differently.

Our family remains close. We were close before this, and even closer after it. We are relying on each other to get through this. Having someone taken violently from you changes a piece of you. My family is all experiencing this together and there is a certain comfort in knowing you are not alone in how you are processing the grief. Each day, the pain is a little less but the hole still remains in our hearts. All that remains are our memories of James.

RIP - J.A.K
October 14, 1990 - October 4, 2010

Passion and Fire on the Ice

How great is it to say you’ve been in love for 30 years?  How many people can honestly say that they’ve been passionate about something for 30 years or more?  I count myself lucky to have found true passion just shy of 3 years old.  While I don’t remember how I felt the first time I was introduced to ice skating, I know how I feel every time I set foot on the ice for practice or competition.  I’ve heard the stories from my grandparents and parents about the first time I saw an ice rink and people skating; it was love at first sight, according to legend, and I was insistent on ice-skating, unrelenting in my requests to try it out until my parents acquiesced. 

These days, people don’t follow their passions nearly enough.  We rationalize our decisions, often sacrificing following our passions and dreams by choosing what we feel is the more responsible choice or by doing what others expect us to do.  But, does the responsible choice make you happy?  If you answer with something along the lines that you’ll learn to like it, or it won’t seem so bad the longer you do it, you’re only fooling yourself.  Over time, you change and lose sight of the person you once were.  Rarely, it’s for the better; often it’s for the worse.  Everyone needs to do at least one thing they are passionate about.  You need to indulge yourself in that one thing, whether it’s a hobby, job, or activity.

I took a break from my passion for the past 5 years; although not intentional nor planned.  It just 'happened' when I moved to Seattle.  But looking at who I am today, I miss the person I was when I was skating.  It’s indescribable.  Friends even notice that I’ve changed, but can’t pinpoint exactly how I’ve changed.  There’s a certain feeling you have when you do what you love.  Putting that feeling into words doesn’t work; nothing comes close to the emotions you feel when you follow your heart.  Even your worst day is still better most people’s best days.  And that feeling translates into all aspects of your life.  It’s subtle and you may not even realize you’ve changed as person, but you have.   My best friend knows just by talking with me on the phone when I’ve been skating and when I’ve been off the ice for an extended period of time.

 

After a 5 year competitive hiatus, I lace up the skates again next week.  Just thinking about getting back out there gives me a sense of excitement and nervousness.  But the smell of the ice and sound of my blades cutting through the cold, smooth, glass-like surface will welcome me back like it does every time and everything will be right with the world.  And more importantly, everything will be right with me.  What amazes me the most is the passion and fire I feel on the ice, as strong as it was 30 years earlier.  Not a lot of people can say they still do what they loved doing when they were 3 or 4.

Lesson 2: Someone to Believe In

Everyone likes to be "believed in".  What does it mean to believe in someone or to have someone believe in you?  People try to explain it by describing it as trust, support, and faith.  Merriam-Webster defines it as "to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something".  Belief is an elusive concept; one that is not easy to explain.  If it's not easy to explain, how can it be taught?  None of the words used to describe or define it are concrete or demonstrative.  In essence, belief is an abstract concept, yet ask a person why they think a person was important to them and chances are you get the response, "Because they believed in me."

Believing in others is more than just telling someone you believe in them and more than doing something nice for them.  It's a combination of actions, thoughts, and feelings.  How do you interact with that individual?  Do you lend a helping hand, listen to their troubles, ask questions, allow them to grow and develop on their own?  Are you sincere and humble in your interactions with them?  Do you stick with that person through the good times and bad times?

Cheryl exemplified what it is to "believe in" someone.  She embodied all of the traits I mention above and more!  Cheryl was the head of the PE department at college and also the head coach of the local skating academy, and I know I'm not the only person who was blessed to have her in my life.  She was just an awesome person to know and became a good friend of mine throughout the years.  Cheryl is someone whom I try to emulate, but fall drastically short.  I learned many things from her and accomplished a lot with her help, but her guidance was very subtle and discreet.  She let me make my own mistakes and never chastised me for my decisions. 

I couldn't have accomplished what I did alone, or without her believing in me.  She was patient when I made mistakes, allowing me to come to her instead of approaching me first.  She listened when I needed someone to talk to.  Some times she offered advice, other times she just let me talk.  Cheryl had a way of leading people to the correct answers on their own.  She made sure I had food to eat.  Being a poor college student, working my way through school, there were times I didn't eat right;  either I didn't have the time between classes and work, or more frequently, I didn't have the money to eat more than ramen noodles for months on end.  (Hell, I didn't even have money for Quarters at Uphill 41 were beer was 25 cents on Thursdays!)  Periodically, Cheryl would have me over for dinner or invite me out to eat to discuss coaching or the skating team.  It was her way of making sure I was getting a good meal once in awhile.

After I graduated, we kept in touch and I visited a few times before she succumbed to cancer.  She was upbeat and positive, always asking me about what was going on in my life.  On my last visit with her, we had brunch at Kaleva Cafe.  I'll never forget our conversation or what she shared with me that day.  She shared her first impression of me when we first met and told me how proud she was of what I had become.  (Her first thought when meeting me was, "Oh Dear!")  After some laughs and reminiscing about mistakes I made along the way, I told her I couldn't have done it without her help.  Cheryl just smiled and told me, "I didn't do anything.  It was how you handled each opportunity that made you successful."

That one statement, so simple, combined with her current expression and past actions, told me that she believed in me.  She was humble in the part she played. She created those opportunities for me, but never took the credit for them.  Cheryl provided guidance when I asked, never making me feel bad or unsuccessful for acknowledging I needed help.  Under her tutelage, I became a head coach of another local skating club and the assistant director of another,  earning my Professional Skater's Association coaching certification in Free Skating, Synchronized Skating, Power Hockey, and Sports Medicine & Nutrition.  She and I also formed a collegiate skating team, which placed 7th at Nationals two years after it was started! 

I'll never know what made her take a chance on a little punk with her head half shaved and the remaining hair colored pink, green, teal, black, and flame red.  But all her actions, support, help, and guidance throughout the years tells me she believed in me from the start.  Yet, the memories and examples still don't provide an accurate definition of believing in someone. 

To build on Merriam-Websters' definition of belief in someone:  to have a firm conviction as to the ability of someone which is supported by actions, words, and sentiments occurring over a duration of time.   But it still doesn't provide a tangible definition and is open to subjectivity.  If you can't concretely explain it, how can you teach it?  Believing in someone is a concept you can only teach by example through a combination of words and actions, but it's a demonstration that takes time.  These days, it's hard to find someone willing to invest time in another person.

Lesson 1: How a car teaches many lessons

Recently, I was thinking about my father and everything I learned from him.  Some of it he intentionally taught me, while other items I learned were through circumstance.  The easy items to write about are the skills he taught.  My father believed that his little girl should be able to take care of herself.  So began the intentional lessons and learnings. 

One of the items he believed strongly in was car maintenance.  From an early age, evenings and weekends were spent in the garage with him learning about cars; changing the oil, replacing brake pads, troubleshooting various noises and sounds, replacing CV joints (CV stands for continuous velocity in case anyone was wondering), and all sorts of other things he enjoyed tinkering with.

Of course, these were all items I hated doing growing up.  Really, why was I being punished by doing all this stuff?  My cousin was interested in learning about cars, so why wasn't he over here helping my dad?  (My cousin, by the way, learned all he could from dad and now owns a great body shop!)  But a strange thing happened as I got older, moved away to college, and bought my first car.  I ended up relying on those skills to keep a little beat up Sable I bought for $150 running.  And that Sable lent it's engine and transmission to a Taurus I bought for $200.  I think I invested about $500-$600 at the MOST into my car.  I remember weekends in the school parking lot or at the Wheeler House (MTU's 4X4 club where many members lived and tools and advice were readily available) replacing the axle, doing the brakes, replacing the starter, and other necessary items.  The biggest undertaking was swapping the engine and transmission from one car to the other.  And all of this was accomplished because my father forced me to work with him in the backyard as I was growing up.  To be fair, I did have a lot of guys willing to help me at school, but they taught me how to do the tasks I didn't know how to do rather than do it for me.  Cars and mechanics didn't intimidate me after having grown up around a backyard mechanic and I was eager to learn from a hot guy at school.  Funny how hormones can help change a person's attitude about learning!

But the story continues...I moved to Cleveland (3 hours from my family versus 10 hours at school) for a job.  It was my father's first time seeing my car after hearing about all the work I had put into it.  Amazingly enough, he didn't mention all the times I argued that I shouldn't be helping him fix one of our cars while growing up.  He had a look of pride in his eyes and just said, in normal dad fashion, "Not bad for what you've got invested in it.  Hell, you've already had it for a year and been able to drive it for 550 miles a stretch without breaking down, so I'd say you found a good investment."

A few weeks after that exchange, I was visiting again and knew it was time to replace the power steering pump.  What was supposed to be a quick job ended up lasting several days longer due to a funeral.  What started as me working on the car, with some assistance from my little brother (it was my time to teach him!), ended up in an large argument with my father.  He wanted to help me and thought I still had stuff to learn.  Plus, he just wanted to do what he loved doing with his baby girl and bond over their experience.  Me, being the strong independent female he taught me to be, didn't want help.  I could do this on my own, and I'd done a lot more complex repairs on my own!  So we argued and argued, finally both going off in different directions without saying a word.  Him to the house, me back to Cleveland.  As I was leaving my mother tried to get me to talk to my father.  She explained that he was only trying to help and wanted to spend time with me.

And my next lesson learned around my first car was an unintentional learning from my father.  I got a phone call the next day from my mother.  All she would tell me was that my aunt and uncle were on their way to pick me up and I had to come home immediately.  I knew right then that my father was gone.  He had passed away.  It was ironic because at the time of death, I was thinking I needed to call him and explain why I didn't want his involvement the day before.  He had always told me never to leave someone while you are upset or angry words were exchanged.  That evening, I realized he was right.  I never got a chance to tell him why I didn't want his help with my car.  It wasn't because I didn't love him, want his help, or want to be around him.  It's because I wanted to show him this skill he taught me over the years - how to take care of my car.  I wanted him to see that his baby girl was grown up and could take care of herself and he didn't have anything to worry about.  But I never got that chance.  And I learned the hard way to never leave someone while you are angry.  And all of this is tied to a single car (well, two that combined to make one).

A few months later, I sold that car and bought a brand new one.  I let 12 years go by without working  on a car.  Just the other weekend, I was helping a friend with some car 'stuff', and realized I missed wrenching on cars.  Spending time with friends (or family), complaining about the design and how you would have done it differently, and just general BS'ing with one another are all aspects of working on a car.  It's much more than solely solving a mechanical problem.  Some of my favorite memories among friends involve car maintenance.

And then, I started remembering all the things my father taught me that I never got a chance to thank him for; things he wanted me to learn and actively taught me as well as items he taught me by example.  And the things he taught by example - they are the truly important things I've forgotten over the past few years, but am slowly starting to remember.  Funny how a car can teach us so many lessons...

Intro: Lessons of Love

This blog began as a requirement for a course I took in pursuit of my Masters in Instructional Design & Technology, hence the earlier learning theory posts.  But, just the other day, I was thinking about all the other ways we learn aside from formal education; how we learn, who we learn from, and what learning shapes us into the individuals we are today.  A lot of who we are as adults is shaped through our experiences when we were younger.  Most of the time, we don't even recognize the skills and traits we are being taught or even appreciate them until it is much too late to thank our instructors.

As I turn another year older this week, I began reminiscing about my father and all he taught me during our time together.  Honestly, I didn't realize the impact he had on me until now, 13 years after he passed away.  And there are others, too, who I might not have known very well or remember their names, but who have had a huge impact on who I've become.  The sad thing is, I lost the person I once was and everything I once knew and am just now letting this person re-emerge. 

Over the following weeks, I hope to post snippets about each of the lessons I learned throughout the years from all the wonderful individuals who taught me skills, ethics, leadership, and values that I learned along the way.  Some of these items are not things someone can hand you a book or lecture you on.  The learning occurs through constructivism, sometimes social, most of the time individual, but is a combination of cognitive development and social context. 

Some posts will be short, others may ramble, but the link to them all is love.  Think about what values you would like to live by and how you share those with others as you read the posts to follow.  How would you demonstrate to your children or family the importance of loyalty, family, great friends, compassion, empathy, leadership, pursuing your dreams, and the value of hard work?

Learner & Contextual Analysis

In summary,  leaner and contextual analysis is useful identifying your audience needs in creating instructional material. Morrison, Ross and Kemp (2007) state that, “To serve either a training group or an academic classroom, the instructional designer must obtain information about the capabilities, needs, and interests of the learners.” Some of the learner characteristics the book covers include: general characteristics, specific entry, learning styles, personal and social characteristics, culturally diverse learners, and learners with disabilities. Topics covered related to contextual analysis include: orienting, instruction, transfer, and performing a contextual analysis. The following are highlights of the aforementioned topics on learner and contextual analysis.

Morrison, Ross and Kemp (2007) defer to Heinrich, Molenda, Russell, and Smaldino (1999) and state that designers should begin with the following categories when describing learner characteristics: general characteristics, specific entry, and learning styles. General characteristics are defined as broad, generalized statements about the learners, such as gender, ethnicity, work experience, and education. Specific entry characteristics are skills or knowledge that the learners must have prior to being exposed to the new training. For example, if you are going to offer a computer-based or on-line training class, a perquisite may be ensuring the learner has access to a computer and is comfortable using the internet and basic word processing skills, such as those found in MS Word. The last category Heinrich et al. (1999) mention is learning style. Morrison, Ross, and Kemp (2007) surmise that knowing learning styles is more important if you are providing one-on-one or small group instruction. Other learner characteristics discussed by Morrison, Ross and Kemp include: academic information, personal and social characteristics, cultural diversity of learners, and learners with disabilities.

Lastly, as a designer, the context to deliver the instruction is important to understand. There are three contexts a designer needs to consider: orienting, instructional, and transfer. Orienting context includes understanding what the learner brings with them, such as skills, knowledge, and attitude. Orienting also includes knowing if the learners feel that the course will be useful to them and how or why the learner feels accountable to learning the material. Instructional context a designer should consider includes method to present the materials and factors in the environment to support the delivery method. Some key environmental factors to consider are: lighting, noise, temperature, seating, accommodations, equipment, and transportation. The last type of context is transfer. Context transfer focuses on “creating an environment that promotes the application of the newly learned knowledge and skills” (Morrison, Ross, and Kemp, 2007). In conducting a contextual analysis, surveys, observations, and interviews may be necessary to gather information necessary to analyze.

All in all,  chapter 3 in Designing Effective Instruction includes a great breakdown of items to consider when defining the target learner and context. Much information is easily available regarding potential learners, although not all of the information may be required to begin design on an instructional module. By considering the individuals’ backgrounds and experiences, and the context of the material and environment, a designer can be off to a terrific start in creating meaningful instruction.

Morrison, G. R., Ross, S. M., & Kemp, J. E. (2007). Designing effective instruction (5th ed.). San Francisco: John Wiley and Sons, Inc.

Heinrich, R., Molenda, M., Russell, J., & Smaldino, S. (1999). Instructional media and technologies for learning (6th ed). Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.

Which Design Model to Use?

A new instructional designer can be faced with a dilemma of which instructional design model should I use.  This entry focuses on the differences and similarities of ADDIE and MRK.  ADDIE is the acronym for Analyze, Design, Develop, Implement, Evaluate, while MRK stands for the model put forth my Morrison, Ross, and Kemp.